one knows...

Sometimes it's about realizing things a step too late.

Sometimes it's about being in the moment without losing into yourself.

Sometimes it takes more than a reminder to stay by the edge without falling down.

Sometimes....


or rather most of the time i tend to lose myself in the moment and realise something things just a tad bit too late.

the view from the other side of the moon

it has been 3 months and 21 days since. The week before, i had a feeling that something is happening. She won't return my calls, not even messages, she kept saying she was busy and never even called me a single time in that week..

then one fateful day, i've decided to call her. After a long dialing tone, she picked up. I said hey , how are you doing? she replied in the most reluctant way i've ever heard saying she's sick and what is it that i want to talk about. i asked her why hasn't she returned my call or my messages. After a turn of dilly- dallying, she said i was being inconsiderate to be asking that when she's sick. Then conversation ended pretty much after that.

A few hours later, i decided to go out and shop for some groceries. A sudden thought of kindness brought me into the bakery nearby. I remembered she likes those funny looking breads from this bakery. Promptly i heads to her place thinking that i could surprise with the breads. Somehow i had a weird feeling that this is gonna be the last time i'll be seeing her.

Reaching her place, i gave her a call. Again with the agitated sound she asked me what's up. I asked, are you hungry? Before she could reply i said i'm outside your house with the funny looking bread that you like. Her tone immediately changed and she immediately asked me to come up. In her place, everything that left me feeling comfortable the very last time i was there are now giving me the idea that i'm not invited.

after a few short conversation, she finally said, she can't keep meeting me anymore. That one sentence immediately broke my heart into pieces again. The pieces i spend so much time picking up and putting them back together. At that very moment, i finally realize why was it that i can't forget her. Why did i spend so much time forgetting the very thing that i intended to forget in the first place. It came to me in the form of enlightenment. I was in love with her memories.




this entry has been altered in a few ways to protect my privacy. However, my very feeling on the things that had happened was clearly portrayed. I am finally over you. Please do not call me again. I hope whatever you're doing and whoever you're doing it with; you're happy and it doesn't concerns me.

Loose Lips Sink Ships

It was said that the phrase "loose lips sink ships" actually originated from the time of WWII when supposedly if the wrong information reached the wrong side of the war, ships will sink.


Well in my case, 'loose lips' actually meant actions that was done without proper consideration of it's consequences while 'sink ships' in this case is severing the relationship between people.

Not as serious as it was back then rite? :)

put the world on your shoulder..

Figuratively..having the world on your shoulder is not something we should take lightly.

At the very first moment that the word "world" enters our mind, we start to imagine something....

....BIG...
....HEAVY....

and a few other words that might be associated to it. And then comes "on your shoulder..".

Suddenly it's hard to move on.

Suddenly, life is not all about freedom.

Suddenly, everything has turned complicated.

Suddenly being yourself is totally unrelated to JUST being yourself.

AND suddenly, you feel the need to change.

To change into someone that is able to wield the task.

Undaunted, you held on..

Breathe easy...

if life is easy...then there's nothing in it that is worth remembering...

My 22nd Birthday

I guess for this time of the year, the word "wow" is an understatement to describe how my birthday was celebrated. Let's see

1) I went out with Lam, Whye Kit, Yong Han, Chin Hoong on 3rd of February for movie n lunch at Secret Recipe which they got me a slice of cake. Bwahaha...that made my day honestly :)

2)On 4th, Theen Yoong, Chin fei, Calvin and Ken visited me at night. Thanks Chinfei for the dinner. :) They got me a shirt...which i have not taken the photograph yet. Truth to be told, again it's was a great gift. Thanks alot guyss!!!

3) 5th! Zi zi came back and he got me a Guitar tuner!!!!! unexpected but felt kinda guilty cuz i told him i wanted one(i was joking of course...) . Anyhow thanks and thanks again!

It has never occurred to me that celebrating birthdays with close friends and besties are of so much fun.

I'll always remember the stuffs that you guys gave me and the idea of celebrating it with me.

:)

Beyond repair..

Life is like a piece of white canvas.

When I started, I wanted all sorts of colorful things in it.

Somehow, somewhere along the way,

I got too comfortable using just one color.

Using it to draw different things.

When it doesn't turn out nice,

I'd choose another spot,

and draw all over again.

By the time i realized what's happening,

Half of the canvas is already filled with the only one color

I've been using.

It's broken beyond repair.

Befitting of how my life is to me now.