Insomnia

I am GOD’S CHILD
Set down upon this decayed Earth
How do I live on such a field?
This isn’t why I was born...

My stride succumbs to a sudden gust of wind
It seems like I’ll fall any moment
But these chains won’t allow it

Having surrendered up my heart to you
My feelings for you now lay scattered about
I still don’t know how to pick them up

I am GOD’S CHILD
Set down upon this decayed Earth
How do I live on such a field?
This isn’t why I was born...

Talk more about your ‘reasons’
Until I fall asleep

I’m swathed in medicine that doesn’t work
Here, there is no sound,
What should I believe in?

I am GOD’S CHILD
These sounds of anguish leave scars on my back
I can’t hang out this world
It’s my only thought: I have no place anywhere

Discomfort, a bitterly cold wall,
What will the next thing to weaken me?
Don’t reach out your hand, even at the end
You, of all people, will rescue me

From the silence

Time will speed the pain

I am GOD’S CHILD
Set down upon this decayed Earth
How do I live on such a field?
This isn’t why I was born...

I am GOD’S CHILD
These sounds of anguish leave scars on my back
I can’t hang out this world
It’s my only thought
I have no place anywhere

video link HERE

Five little pigs

I have always try to make myself known to be one that likes to divulge in mind games. But never was i good in puzzles, solving the rubic cubes and maybe even IQ questions. But then again, i was not interested in all those but one. The study of crime psychology. As this paragraph sounding more and more like a paragraph one wrote in a textbook, I would not tell you why but i will share a story from the Queen of Crime herself; Dame Agatha Christie's - Five Little Pigs. This detective fiction was derived from a nursery rhyme "five little piggy" as some of the other novels of the dame would be.

This little piggy went to market,

This little piggy stayed at home,

This little piggy had roast beef,

This little piggy had none.

And this little piggy went... 

"Wee wee wee" all the way home...

While the story has no whatsoever connection to the nursery rhyme apart from the fact that 5 five little pigs where actually in connection to a case that happened 14 years ago. Hercule Poirot was presented a case where a woman was convicted and hanged 14 years ago as she was found to have poisoned her husband to death. Interestingly enough, this happened as the five little pigs were at the scene of the crime. How would Poirot solve the case this time? I would suggest to my friends who will be reading this entry to watch it on youtube. :) Cheers~!

Here's the link to "Five Little Pig"

More than words, more than friends

Now, the fact that my blog is not a constant pit stop for most people gives me the idea of comfort to reveal some of the stuffs i've been keeping inside since; forever.

The thing is, I have a story about of me during me freshmen years in UPM.

The first day i was there, i saw this girl. She's clearly different from the others. Clear eyes with an obvious fire within. The spirit that no other freshie girls have. That was what at first attracted me. 

Then i started befriending her, which in return confided in me in almost everything. The first time she called me, she cried. Her heart was broken by this two timing guy named David. Apparently that guy still dated her when he already had a girlfriend. Man i hated that guy. That was the very first time i saw her cry. The same thing happened again not long after. This time i managed to make her smile. Boy i was happy. 

We then hang out almost all the time. We had dinner together,  she'd call me a few times a week. I was convinced that i'll will tell her what i wanted to say when the time comes. But the thing is, she thinks i liked her room mate. Which was true except for the part where i actually liked her first. That was before i knew she liked this David guy. Bah, this is complicated. Just like this movie "Definitely, maybe" . 

I wanted to be more than a friend. But it didnt worked. She was starting to alienate me. That was when i was most devastated.  I guess that's where it ends. It never worked, and now we're not even friends. :S 

Pathetic ain't I? 

Beleaguered

Yes, 

I have finally awaken from my deep slumber,

All along i was occupied with nothing but tests,

Something which i find a simple blunder.

Miracles happen to those who wished,

Granting anything from a straight A to scholarships,

Although sometimes I take it as a good deed,

People tend to treat it as sunken ships.

The time has come for me to end,

this horribly sounding and hard to read,

piece of my mind i would love to call it,

Nevertheless it is a gift from a sincere heart,

To a friend indeed.

the truth is , i feel very much alone.

there's so much going on out there.

and i'm here alone.

It's gets harder to breathe by time.

there's so much craziness surrounding me.

till i've lost sight of where i want to go.

i can't find the words,

you teach my heart to speak.

homeless

waiting here in this rain fall,

feeling so small,

this dream was not suppose to break.


I'm so sorry now for the pain i caused you.

no vacancy, just emptiness in this cold...

I'm walking aimlessly,

without a shell on my soul..

without your love,

my heart is homeless..