It's baffling how people can be so divided at times. One moment they like vanilla, the other moment they'll be liking chocolate. "People change..", a common excuse. For better or worse, i hope things are working for you.

Hard to let go...

When we were young, most of us will certainly hope and pray to grow up faster. Birthday wishes like , "I wanna be 18 tomorrow.." ,"I wanna be 30 and have a superb career... " and so on. I on the other hand wished that i could be like the other normal kids.

Born in a mediocre family, i have 2 sisters and a brother with a gap of 4 years. As this sounds normal to you, it's not to me. All of my cousins, mark my word ALL of them are older than me by at least 4 years. It's like, i'm always the outcast. Alone. Being treated as the odd one out. I hate this feeling. In addition to the fact that when everyone else is already working, i'm the only one still in university.

This is really not the matter. But in a way, it has molded me into someone i don't aspire to be. A loner, inarticulate , and most of all emotionally disconnected. I'm starting to think whether i'm getting BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). Then there's this relationship problems. Haihs.. Sometimes when i think about it, am I lying to myself? Is this relationship going somewhere? I've had like few brief relationships that i'm not proud to tell. It kinda destroys the self esteem. And there's this one.

Sigh. From Meet Joe Black ...

William Parrish: It's hard to let go, isn't it?
Joe Black: Yes it is, Bill.
William Parrish: And that's life... what can I tell you.

Dare to say it? No i dont.

wow....now that i'm reading my past entries...i realised i was far too emotional...haha....if anyone is reading my blog they'll know :) i happen to lashed out sometimes....just have to wait for the right moment :)